Telling the Truth

Let's talk about truth for a second. I once had a boyfriend who was intense about telling the truth. He (according to himself) never lied to me once and told me that he expected me to tell him the truth ALL the time. Obviously, if you love someone, you should be honest with that person; but don't people need to lie occasionally? Some things are just better left unsaid because they're unnecessary, or hurtful, or extremely personal...

For instance, one night a couple of guys approached me at the gym and asked me for my phone number. I told them no of course because I had a boyfriend at the time, so it was no big deal. When my boyfriend asked me what I had done that day, I left that part out because I knew it would only make him jealous. It was an unnecessary detail, the sharing of which neither of us would have benefited from. Thus, omitting the truth was a positive choice in this situation.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you didn't want to deal with the consequences of telling the truth? In your opinion, should people be totally honest with their partners ALL the time? I still hold that there are occasions for telling the truth and occasions for side stepping it a little. ;)

Growing Pains

Remember middle school (or you might be experiencing it right now!)? Girls were so catty back then...and everything felt like it meant so much. If one of your friends stopped talking to you, it was the end of the world. Everyone was vying for a higher position on the popularity ladder, and nobody was secure enough to realize that being themselves is what makes them cool. Dating was still new, and ridiculous quantities of drama surrounded the topic -- who liked who, who dumped who, who cheated on who...etc. Girls couldn't go to the bathroom, to lunch, or pretty much anywhere without a squad of friends around them. Looking back, it seems so ridiculous! Why did we care so much? High school isn't much better, but people are a little bit clearer about who they are. Still, clicks still exist, and people are still struggling with their insecurities and desires to fit in.

Now I'm in college, and it feels like a breath of fresh air. Nobody is worried about their self image, and everyone is passionate about learning and meeting new people. I guess people have to go through all of that awful social torture in their teens to get to the good stuff in college. :)

Staying Honest With Friends

Friendships are tough, aren't they? All of us go through the process of finding people we enjoy and feel comfortable confiding in. Once a friendship is sealed, the serious stuff begins - staying in touch; being there when friends need us; being thoughtful, trusting, and honest.

The last two are the hardest. Deep down, a voice is always saying, "She doesn't need to know that! It's too personal!" or "What if he tells someone?" And let's not forget about the politeness factor - if your slightly overweight friend asks if she needs to shed some pounds, are you really going to say yes? Let's face it: sometimes honesty just isn't possible.

Additional stress is placed on friendships as people get busier, have homework to do, extracurricular activities and jobs to go to, and growing bodies to keep healthy. At the end of the day, there are times when we're just too damn tired to deal with honesty.

But we need friends because we can tell them things, trust them, and know that they trust us. So how can we make sure friendships don't fall apart due to dishonesty or lack of trust?

In this fast-paced world of the lap tops, cell phones, blackberries, and digital everything, communication can be instantaneous. Although face-to-face interaction is crucial, today's average person is constantly moving. To help us stay in touch in the midst of the blur, we have now have e-mail, instant messaging, and social networks that allow us to connect with our friends with the click of a button or two.

This is a good thing, right? Well, mostly. With the replacement of an actual person with a computer screen, we no longer have faces to read or tones of voice to listen to. There is the knowledge that another person is somewhere on the other end typing a message, but something of them is lost. A kind of dehumanization occurs, a phenomenon that has curious affects - people are more forward and direct online, more willing to put themselves out on a limb because they don't have to deal with an immediate personal response.

What? Did I just say that the more removed a friend is from another friend, the more honest they become? Yep. I know...weird. Now for the clincher - how can we get even closer to total honesty with friends online? The answer is anonymity, a long word with a simple meaning - to have one's identity hidden. A new craze online has developed as more websites base themselves around this idea of anonymous online interaction. You can make sure your friend will be totally honest by letting her talk to you anonymously. Awkward social etiquette and face-to-face tensions are eliminated. You won't be able to point a finger at your friend afterwards. But you'll get the truth. Cool huh?

Online/In Person?

Do you ever notice that you talk differently to people online than you do in person? It's kind of unnerving sometimes... I feel like people are much less inhibited when they talk on IM, my guy friends in particular. Some of them have said some pretty "inappropriate" or "forward" things to me on IM that I know they would never say to me in person. What's the deal with that? ...But on the other hand, I notice myself doing it too...being more direct or overt with people on IM. Then, when you talk to them in person it's completely different.

It's as if the barrier of a computer screen gives you this new since of confidence and freedom -- but it's false. You're still two people having a conversation. Strange isn't it? Do you think talking online is really that different from talking in person? Give me your thoughts. :)

Myspace vs. Facebook

What's happening to Myspace? Is it losing it's charm? It's popularity seems to be dwindling under the shadow of the new Facebook craze. Now that anyone can join Facebook, it's become more popular than ever. I have interviewed several people on the subject, and they say they choose Facebook because it feels safer and more tasteful than Myspace.

So what's keeping Myspace afloat? In my opinion, it's the amazing networking tool it provides bands and companies -- a role that Facebook has yet to fill. Because Myspace is much less localized than Facebook, bands and spammers can network at will. (However, Myspace has recently become more careful in its monitoring of spammers, providing an easily clickable "SPAM" link at the top of messages in users' inboxes). Facebook has yet to come up with a way to come even close to the success Myspace has achieved through band utilization.

Do you have a band profile on Myspace? Do you prefer Myspace or Facebook? Let me know! I have profiles on both, and I use them for different things -- Facebook is generally a place where I talk to local/close friends...people who are close by...to make plans, catch up, or goof around; Myspace is where I talk to long distance friends, network, and promote my bands and various entrepreneurial endeavors. What about you? Do you feel the same way I do? :)